Power Play: A Reverse Harem Hockey Romance Page 6

  I hopped out of the car and walked beside him. A couple rushed ahead of us, and a particular item in their grip made me look around. Sure enough, adults and kids alike were moving in and out of the building, all carrying ice skates.

  My heart raced with anticipation. I didn’t know how to skate, and I recalled telling Ken this several times. Still, I followed him into the building. An extensive line was stretched before us, but Ken walked me past it, into a shop next to the rink.

  “What size shoe do you normally wear?” He pulled a box from the wall.

  I shrugged, too shocked still to answer.

  “You’ve been quiet all day,” he said softly. “You feeling okay? Do you want me to take you home?”

  Shaking my head, I sat down on one of the cushioned benches spread around the displays of skates. “Umm. Seven.”

  He knelt before with a smile, the same smile that went straight to warming my heart. I couldn’t help but grin. He unlaced my shoe.

  “I can try shoes on without help,” I pointed out.

  “You have to lace these up just right or you won’t know if they fit properly,” he said digging a boot from the box.

  I toed my shoe off and went to slide it into the skate, but he caught my foot by the heel and studied my colorful sock emblazoned with cartoon characters.

  “Pigs?” he asked with a chuckle.

  I wiggled my toes and laughed. Even if my mind was foggy, I’d recalled Nathan’s advice to wear cute socks.

  “I like them,” he said sliding the skate onto my foot. “Adorable.”

  I couldn’t help but reach out and ruffle his hair. How was it that small moments like this made my heart pound this hard?

  * * *

  An hour on the ice and I was feeling more like myself. Which was odd, because I was so uncoordinated. The lesson pulled me from my confusion and reminded me of what a patient person Ken was. But it was clear I wouldn’t be skating on my own for some time.

  Still, I enjoyed every second, and whooped as I made one successful — and extremely wobbly — half-lap around the rink and into Ken’s arms. I had the tiny thought of how awesome that moment would be if all four guys who’d left an impression on me in the past week could see me.

  "You're more slippery than a puck," he commented as he led me off the ice.

  My dirty mind took over and I raised an eyebrow. If only he knew…

  I wobbled to the bench and unlaced my boots. “I’ll get the hang of it. Just give me a few months.”

  “You’re in a better mood.”

  I shrugged and watched him tuck my skates into his duffel bag next to his own. I hadn’t protested him buying me the pair. They weren’t cheap and seemed to indicate that this would be a frequent event if we stayed together. Interesting.

  And he hadn’t thought twice about it. It was just his plan.

  I pulled on my shoes and hopped to my feet. “What’s next?”

  “Food. I don’t know about you but I’m starving.” He held out his hand. “It’s not fancy, but it’ll fill you up.”

  I took his hand and he led us through the back door of the massive building. It opened to a park, which we crossed while I looked around and tried to guess what we’d eat out here. There were no other buildings, just the river in the distance.

  He brought me to a hot dog stand and ordered two.

  Handing me one, he looked me in the eyes. “Don’t tell the guys. They’ll give me shit. These are the best dogs in the city, but they don’t fit into the season diet.”

  I grinned, the scent of meaty chili and cheese making my mouth water. “I promise. Our secret.”

  We sat on a bench facing the park and dug into our hot dogs with plastic forks. Ken extracted blue sports drinks from his bag. Either I led a closed-in life, or these guys had somehow known everything I’d never done before. Waterfalls, secluded restaurants, skating. Street food. Sports drinks.

  Shoveling a mouthful of delicious bun and chili into my mouth, I had an epiphany. The reason why I was upset and not upset at the same time became clear. I swallowed and washed it down with a gulp of my drink.

  “Why didn’t you tell me how you felt?” I asked.

  “I did tell you.”

  “No.” I stuck my fork into my hot dog and sat back against the bench, watching him. “We’ve been talking for a year, and during that time, you told your friends how you felt, and you told them about me. But you never told me about how you felt. Not even a hint.”

  He stabbed at his chili. “It’s not the sort of thing you say long distance. I wanted to tell you in person.”

  “And if I’d never moved here, then what?” I asked. “You knew I was considering the move. I agonized over picking up my life for a job that could fall apart, and you could have told me then.”

  “I didn’t want you to move here just for me. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you didn’t come, but I couldn’t ask you to change your plans when I had no idea if you felt the same way I did,” he reasoned.

  I stared down at my food. “But I did move here, and as much as I didn’t want to admit it, you were in the back of my mind. The possibility of us. Don’t tell me you had no idea how I felt. It had to be obvious. I always felt so obvious.”

  He leaned back and pressed his shoulder to mine. “No, I meant I didn’t know how you’d feel about everyone else. I didn’t know what I would do if you came out here and you were perfect for me but didn’t get along with them. They’re my brothers. And yeah, if you were all friends, okay, but what if you hated them?”

  “I don’t think you’d ever be friends with someone I could hate.” I wanted to put my hand on his knee but I was worried my fingers were covered in chili.

  "Yeah. I know that, but it's the kind of thing that's just strange enough to happen," he said with a sigh. "You know, I spent this day wondering what could have gone wrong. It's not like I don't trust Josh and Alex, clearly, I do—but you seemed so distant."

  “They were fine, it wasn’t that, not exactly,” I said softly. Somehow, it felt awkward to tell him about the kiss in the woods with Josh and Alex. And the kiss with Nathan. Shyness seized my chest, and I felt myself shutting down.

  Ken pushed his hair back and wrinkled his brows in frustration. “I didn’t even ask how their date with you went. They seemed over-the-moon. Then I pick you up and you’re just… And it’s all me, huh?”

  I didn’t know what to say. Everything was overwhelming, but for him to have held his feelings a secret for so long—that was the hardest to accept. We could have missed our chance completely.

  “It’s a lot, Ken.”

  “I know, but… take a chance on me. On us.”

  I wondered which us he was talking about. Him and me — or the four of them and me?

  Appetite gone, I stood and looked around, searching for a garbage can. “I think I should do some work today. Schedule’s kind of crazy.”

  9

  Eight days passed while I worked and pondered my thoughts. Nathan texted me a few times, and I always responded, but the conversation was empty. I didn’t have an answer for him. Ken poked me on messenger and called, but except for telling him about work, I didn’t want to talk. Josh and Alex also texted a few times.

  I told everyone the same thing. Project deadline. Sorry…

  I leaned back in my desk chair and spun gently side to side while casting my gaze around my room, giving my eyes a break from the glare of the computer screen. A small navy rectangle, just a little larger than a business card, caught my eye.

  Josh had slipped it to me at some point the first night we met. It was a schedule of all the local games their team had this season, and beside the tiny list was a picture of him. With his helmet and bulky uniform, I could barely tell it was him, but he was proud that they’d put him on every little card.

  There was no game tonight.

  I straightened in my chair and my fingers hovered over the keyboard. I was ahead of schedule, so much so that one of the managers told m
e I wasn’t allowed to put in more office time this week. They told me to relax and cautioned me against burnout. They offered me extra vacation days. They offered me a second assistant.

  But what else could I do? I missed the guys. I was experienced enough to know that the empty ache in my heart wasn’t just silly infatuation. It could grow into full-blown love if I gave it a chance. They’d burrowed into my life and made themselves at home.

  And it terrified me.

  There was a reason most romances only had two people involved, and who was I to think I could handle more? That I was the type of girl who could define the odds?

  My phone chimed, and I flipped it over.

  It was Alex, asking how my day was going.

  I texted him back, letting him know I was fine. Judging by the time, practice was over for him, so he should’ve been having lunch with the guys.

  I tapped out a message. What are you doing?

  We’re sitting at home, bored. Missing you.

  I ran my hands through my hair and stood up. My body moved, knowing what it was doing even if my mind wasn’t fully made up. I had my jacket on and keys in hand before I faced my thoughts.

  I had to see them again, even if it was just to tell them about my doubts. My fears. Once I did that, they probably wouldn’t want me. I couldn’t run from them, couldn’t ghost them from my life. I wasn’t that woman.

  * * *

  It took a few deep breaths and pep talks to get out of the car. They had to know I was out here, hesitating. The driveway was long and made of gravel, so I couldn’t have snuck up on them.

  In the light of day, I saw how large the house was. Big, but simple. It looked almost like a chalet, all wood and windows. Gorgeous, really.

  I’d never even gotten a full tour, and now, I never would. Hands in pockets, I walked to the door, practicing my words. I’d let them down, then I’d call Nathan and do the same.

  The door opened before I lifted a hand to knock. Ken stepped to the side.

  “Hey, gorgeous. Come on in,” he said casually.

  His gentle smile suggested his optimism, making what I had to do harder. I stepped into the living room, shrugging out of my coat. Ideally, this wouldn't take long but I'd become overheated the second I stepped foot into the home.

  I laid the coat on the sofa arm and turned to face him. He caught me in a surprise hug.

  “It’s so good to see you, I’m glad you came,” he said, words muffled in my hair.

  I patted his arm as he released me, trying to form a comforting expression. “Uh. Are the guys around?”

  “Of course, we’re here,” Josh said from the hallway.

  He and Alex entered, coming from the kitchen. Nathan was right behind them, looking concerned. Clearly, he suspected this wasn’t a happy reunion.

  Stepping away to avoid more hugs, I placed the sofa and coffee table between us. "Hey, guys… Could we, I mean, could you sit? So we can talk?"

  Alex leaped over the back of the couch and landed in a flop, grinning at me. Josh rolled his eyes and he and Nathan rounded the sides to sit flanking Alex. Ken crossed his arms and leaned against the side of the couch, finally guessing my tone, it seemed.

  They all seemed so muscular, so big, as if they took up all the air in the room.

  So handsome.

  So intently focused on me.

  “I like you all. So much. More than you know.” I put my hand on my chest, as if to contain my heart from beating its way out of my ribcage. “A lot. It’s been strange, getting to know you and realizing that together we make a weird fit. Like puzzle pieces for a puzzle I thought would be much, much smaller. And for all that could be excellent between the, um five of us, I’m… I’m scared. I could be hurt by four of you.”

  I paused, already catching the hurt in Nathan’s blue eyes. Ken’s expression was neutral, as was Josh’s. Alex looked confused.

  “We wouldn’t hurt you,” Alex said softly. “Ever.”

  The rest of the guys murmured an agreement.

  Licking my lips, I tried again. “It might be too much. I don’t want to hurt you, and I wish I could say we could make it work but I don’t see how. I never thought I’d find someone who meshed with me the way you guys do, and it’s amazing how through all the differences there’s this thread of something more, that could connect us all.”

  “You’re not gonna try?” Josh asked.

  I frowned. “I don’t know if I should. I didn’t think it was right to not talk to you in person though.”

  “It wouldn’t be easy, but don’t you think it would be worth it?” Ken asked. His eyes pierced through me, shredding me with guilt.

  “But it’s only hard for me. You guys would have it easy. You each just have to take care of me, worry about me. I would have to balance you all. What if I can’t give you what you need? What you want?”

  Alex leaned forward where he sat. “You feel like it isn’t fair?”

  "I…" Words, faltering, I clamped my mouth shut. My heart broke, standing and witnessing their disappointed looks, the pain in their faces. Josh wouldn't even look at me, but his hurt seemed to radiate from his form in waves.

  I felt tears rising, but I didn’t want them to see. My coat was trapped under Nathan’s arm. I didn’t remember where I’d put my keys. In a panic, I dashed from their sight and into the first room I came across.

  I sat on Ken’s bed and my pain escaped, dripping over my cheeks through hot tears.

  10

  Ken slipped through the door and pulled it gently shut behind him. I didn’t meet his gaze, only recognized him by the blue sweats he wore. He sat beside me, looping an arm around me and pulling me close. I heard his heartbeat as he held me against his strong chest. It felt so good, so right, to be in his arms.

  “Hey. Hey. It’s okay. We can take it slow. Any way you want.”

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered.

  "Don't be," he replied. His voice was low and had an edge I didn't recognize as if the words didn't want to come out. "I always knew this could happen. We all did."

  “I wish I was the right one.” I buried my face in his shirt and inhaled his scent. He was a salve to my pain, and I didn’t know how I’d move on. “I tried to make it work in my head, I did.”

  The door opened again, and Nathan strode in, leaving the door cracked open behind him.

  “We’re having a talk,” Ken said quietly.

  Nathan took my arm and I looked up at him, surprised at how gentle his touch. His eyes were edged with darkness, but he didn’t seem angry. It was a look of fierce determination.

  “Hey,” he whispered, tugging me me from Nathan. He kissed my forehead then eased me back on the mattress.

  “Too much?” he asked.

  “No.” Suddenly things were becoming clearer.

  Climbing over me, he growled, “We’ve talked enough.”

  I stared at him, lost. If he didn’t want to talk, then what?

  He slanted his mouth over mine, stealing my breath and thoughts with a passionate kiss. His tongue wrestled mine, taking me back to the night we’d nearly lost control on my couch.

  My hands clawed his back, wanting more.

  I. Wanted. More.

  Of all of them.

  He pulled back and stared into my eyes. “Too much?”

  I shook my head.

  “When I kiss you, what are you thinking?”

  I blinked, trying to wrap my head around the question. “Of you.”

  “You aren’t thinking about Ken?”

  Glancing over, it dawned on me that Ken was watching us. His expression was as shocked as mine, but he didn’t look bothered.

  “Ummm… no. Just you.”

  “Who kissed you first, of all of us?”

  “Ken.”

  Nathan swept his thumb over my bottom lip, making me turn back to him. “When I kiss you, do you compare us?”

  I scoffed. “Of course not.”

  "Then what's the problem?" he asked. "We want you. Yo
u can balance us. I don't want to hear your excuses as if you're weak or incapable. You're a fighter."

  “I’m not,” I stammered. “I’m—”

  “You’re a woman who moved across the country for what she considered a risky job. You work in a field dominated by men, and you do it so well you’re your own boss and you haven’t realized it.” He arched a brow. “You live in the shadiest part of downtown, in a city you barely know. There is nothing that you can’t handle about us, Violet.”

  My lips parted to argue but I didn’t get that far. Ken sucked my bottom lip into his mouth and made my knees weak. Releasing it, a wicked grin formed on his lips.

  “What if…?”

  “What if what, Violet?” It was Ken’s voice.

  “What if I did end up wanting you all at once? I mean, physically. What would happen then?”

  “Then we’ll give you what you want. What you need.” Ken’s voice was raw, rough. Less thinking and talking, Violet. More doing. More exploring. Both the world and your own heart. If you’re going to focus on the potential problems, you have to consider the good parts too.”

  “Like living with four men and two bathrooms?” I whispered, trying to make a joke.

  “Like how it’s our job to keep you happy and satisfied. How we’re here to protect you and support you.” he replied. “And to give you more pleasure than you can stand.”

  His mouth traveled down my neck as I gasped, startled by how a few words tore down my walls. He pressed his knee between my thighs and I parted my legs, allowing him to nestle himself there, pressing his bulge to my leggings.

  “It’s not just about that,” I protested.

  “But there will be plenty of it,” Ken insisted, rejoining the conversation.

  I reached out to him, and he took my hand and curled it against his jaw. Nathan slid down my body, kissing my shoulder, my breasts, my ribcage.

  Nathan knelt on the ground next to the bed and yanked my lower body to him. Legs spread, my center was before him, and he covered it with his mouth, engulfing me through my leggings.

  Ken lay flat on his stomach beside me and pulled me into a kiss, capturing my moan. I had limited my fantasies of being shared. Aside from Alex and Josh, who clearly wanted it, I didn’t want to assume that any other combination of the men would want such a thing.